knees weak arms are heavy mom com home make hte spagheti ϟ

zodiacale:

full offense but if you don’t have intentions of loving someone back who loves you then don’t fuck around with them on a mental or physical or emotional level

Active ways to cultivate positive body image:

theprimelifeofbex:

icedcoffeebabe:

(Because oh my god, it’s so hard, and everyone’s all like stop feeling so bad about yourself and it’s like how???) 

• Be naked. A lot. Sleep naked. Have sex naked. Eat cereal naked. (Or naked and wrapped in a sheet. Favorite thing.) 
  
• Follow beautiful, confident, (un-photoshopped) body-positive babes on the Internet. Unfollow anything that makes you feel insecure. Exposure is key. You’re not going to get it if you don’t seek it out, because the media sucks and wants us to feel like shit about ourselves so they can take our money. (Some hashtags to follow: #effyourbeautystandards #bootyrevolution #blackisbeautiful #transisbeautiful #wheelchairlife #fatkini #fatshion)
  
• Lingerie. Next best thing to being naked. 
  
• Self care, babe. Different for everyone. (Me? Showers, books, shaving my legs, nature walks, dark lipstick, good playlists, clean rooms, candles, sexy time.) 
  
• Get ready in your underwear. Boobs = happiness. 
  
• Self portraits. Be pro-selfie. Take a million selfies. Take sexy selfies. Take no makeup selfies. Take bad angle silly selfies. Take artsy tripod selfies. Take everything-is-on-point selfies. You’re gorgeous; document your gorgeousness. You don’t even need to post them. 
  
• Stop with the self deprecationnnnn. Pleeeeaseeee. It’s hard to control your thoughts love, I know, but you can control what you say. NEVER insult yourself out loud. Dare I say compliment yourself out loud? (And if you can, do your best to try to body-positive-ify your thoughts too.) 
  
• Sex (including solo sexy time), wine, and chocolate. In that order. 
  
• Share the body love. Compliment your girlfriends. Cultivate a nonjudgemental, supportive, lift-each-other-up “we’re so cute” friend group. Everyone’s insecure. Compliment your besties. And strangers, too. Be that person that makes everyone feel good about themselves when they’re around. 
  

Good luck gorgeous. It’s a battle. We gotta unlearn all this societal bullshit.

Reblogging cuz this is vital. Especially the point on self-deprecation. Stop that shit now. It is a glamour-don’t, a welcome sign for fuck ass ppl.

thesickshop:

what is my gender? my gender is [large truck passes by] but everybody calls me “dad”

smolsamberg:

youngsamberg:

my favorite samberg meme is finding weird pictures of him deep in the internet with no context

please feel free to add your favorite no-context pics of sambags below

eissibee:

Do you ever think about how supermarkets have no clear indicator of time passing visually? Like if u go into a supermarket in the morning or midnight it would look the same, same harsh white lighting. Time isn’t real. Nothing is real. Avocados are half off

critical-perspective:

etherialism:

cornputer:

assindeto:

take me to art museums and make out with me

But they said to not touch the masterpieces

Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall

This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.

If the signs were superheroes/villains, what would their powers be?

weirdgirl42:

earthlyheartstarrymind:

punkasszodiac:

Aries - Hero: Bullet time. You can slow down time in order to fight at an incredible speed, making it impossible to hit or shoot you. Villain: Invulnerability. You are impervious to any harm, requiring extreme measures in order to hurt you.

Taurus - Hero: Atmokinesis. You can control the weather, allowing you to control many aspects of nature itself. Villain: Seismic power. You have the ability to create seismic shocks or earthquakes at will.

Gemini - Hero: Intangibility. You have the power to be impossible to perceive by any of the senses. Villain: Molecular dissipation. You can make any object vanish into thin air and absorb its energy.

Cancer - Hero: Clairvoyance. You have the ability to perceive events that are taking place elsewhere or sense places that are not in view. Villain: Summoning. You can call animals, creatures, or otherworldly beings for assistance.

Leo - Hero: Danger sense. You are aware of approaching danger before it reveals itself. Villain: Probability manipulation. You have the power to alter the outcomes of things that require luck or the occurrence of unusual phenomena.

Virgo - Hero: Force fields. You can create transparent or invisible shields as a method of protection. Villain: Banishing. You can send a person somewhere else, usually to trap them or keep them away.

Libra - Hero: Orbing. You have the ability to teleport from place to place with magical orbs surrounding you. Villain:  Omnilingualism. You can decipher any known language and learn any being’s language, alien included, through physical touch.

Scorpio - Hero: Umbrakinesis. You can mentally repulse photons to create shadow or darkness and move objects via shadow. Villain: Possession. You are able to take control of the body and mind of someone else, temporarily leaving your own body for theirs.

Sagittarius - Hero: Cross-dimensional travel. You have the ability to travel through any alternate dimensions. Villain: Molecular combustion. You are able to speed up molecules, basically in order to blow things up.

Capricorn - Hero: Cryokinesis. You can reduce the kinetic energy of atoms in order to lower temperature. This is often used to control, generate, or absorb ice. Villain: Grim reaping. You have the ability to kill or mortally wound someone through touch.

Aquarius - Hero: Portal creation. You have the power to create wormholes in time and space. Villain: Phasing. You have the ability to pass through solid objects.

Pisces - Hero: Wishing. You have the ability to wish for anything and that wish comes true. Villain: Reality warping. This gives you the ability to change and mold reality itself.

THESE ARE SO DOPE NO LIE

this is the best sign post i’ve seen yet. i want both the powers.

Trump’s Cabinet

quantum-displacement:

White House chief strategist:

Steve Bannon (CEO of Breitbart News)

• He was arrested for three counts of domestic violence in the 90s.

• The charges were dropped after him and his attorney threatened his ex-wife into fleeing the state.

• He choked his ex-wife and smashed her phone so she couldn’t call 911.

• He was accused of sexual harassment by female co-workers. “Saftey Regulations? I’m going to ram those Safety Regulations down her fucking throat,”

• “There are some unintended consequences of the women’s liberation movement, the women that should lead this country would be pro-family, they would have husbands, they would love their children. They wouldn’t be a bunch of dykes that came from the Seven Sisters schools up in New England.” ― Bannon during interview when asked about women in government

• He was outraged when he found out that Jews were allowed at his daughters school and complained to them over it.

• He helped promote the white supremacist novel The Camp of the Saints which depicts non-white immigrants as barbaric invaders who’s goals for moving to Europe and America is to bring forth the downfall of civilization.

• He was a member of a Facebook group that produced racist rants and death threats against President Obama.

• He complained about there being to many Asian CEOs.
  

National Security Advisor:

Michael Flynn (Disgraced former General)

• He says Islam is Cancer and it’s irrational for people not to be afraid of Muslims.

• He ordered female Defense Intelligence Agency employees to “dress sexy” and wear short skirts and makeup.

• He was fired from the Military for trying to demand to much power and authority. Though he says the reason was, “political correctness.”

• Leaked Bush Administration emails show he show he had extreme anger issues, refused to follow orders, went against policy and became, “physcially abusive with staff.”

• He wants to bring back torture.

• He retweeted anti-semetic Tweets.

• He is a Board Member for what The Southern Poverty Law Center considers the largest Anti-Muslim Hate Group in America.

• His son and top adviser is famous for posting online Conspiracy Theories and racist memes.
  

Attorney General:

Jeff Sessions (Alabama Senator)

• He said he supported The K.K.K until he learned they smoked pot.

• He admitting to making racist jokes during the investigation of two Klansman whom had kidnapped, beaten, tortured, slit the throat and murdered a young black man in 1981 before hanging his body in a tree at a local park in Mobile, Alabama.

• He called an attorney a “race traitor” for defending a black client in a voting rights case.

• He was considered by the Reagan administration to racist to be a Judge 30 years ago.

• He called the ACLU and the NAACP “un-american” and “communist” for forcing civil rights down Americas throat.

• He used racial slurs to address black co-workers. And told one Black Attorney, “You best be careful how you talk to white folks, boy.”

• He referred to the only black commissioner in Mobile Alabama as “the n*gger.”

• Dozens of former co-workers allege he is a racist and when asked about racist comments he has refused to give a straight answer.

• Q: “Did you refer to him as the N-Word? Yes or no?”
  
• A: “I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create.”

• He tried to fight against the passage of the violence against women act and fought against laws to make spousal rape a crime.

• He said if a person is gay it should automatically disqualify them from getting a job as a judge.

• He attempted to pass laws that would defund any school that allowed gay student groups or clubs such as the Gay-Straight Alliances. “An organization that professes to be comprised of homosexuals and/or lesbians must not receive state funding or use state-supported facilities to foster or promote those illegal, and sexually deviate activities that break the sodomy and sexual misconduct laws.”

• He voted in favor of laws that would make it legal for the U.S military to perform torture.

• He has received a 0% rating from The Human Rights Campaign.
  

Secretary of Education:

Michelle Rhee (Owner of a multi-billion dollar Charter school lobbying group)

• She is one of the leading supporters for Charter schools and public school privatization, in 2007 became Chancellor of the Washington, D.C. public school District, during that time she was accused of closing schools and firing teachers so she can steal the pension money for herself.

• She fired 266 teachers who were members of the union and justified it saying, “I got rid of teachers who had hit children and who had had sex with children.” After public outrage into the comments over why she would fire teachers who were pedophiles instead of having them arrested she refused to provide any evidence the 266 union teachers had ever abused children and refused to apologize for her comments.
  
• She has been accused of making the school district worse on purpose to help lobbyist groups justify their stance that public and free education is a failure.

• She fought against School District Employees Unionizing.

• She made up her resume.
  

Secretary of Agriculture:

Forrest Lucas (Billionaire owner of the company Lucas Oil)

• He used company money to buy himself a mansion and avoid paying property taxes then justified it saying he’s using it as a, “corporate retreat for himself” since he is an employee of his company.
  

• His wife wrote on Facebook saying, “I’m sick and tired of minorities running our country! As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think that atheistss, muslims nor any other minority group has the right to tell the majority of the people in the United States what they can and cannot do here. Is everyone so scared that they can’t fight back for what is right or wrong with his country?” He defended his wife’s statements by saying he has donates to Veterans groups and since they (presumably) help veterans who are minorities he’s not a racist.
  

• He is famous for being the biggest proponent against animal rights on earth and created a lobbying group called Protect the Harvest who’s motto is “keeping America free and fun.“ to fight against animal rights groups. His group is accused of being a corporate front that openly vows to fight groups such as The Humane Society of the United States and The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Many of the groups board of executives are state politicians who have used Lucases money to try do things like legalize puppy mills, legalize hunting endangered animals and shorten the punishment for crimes like animal cruelty.
  

I have done extensive research to try and find out why anyone would support these things. And why someone would go as far as to spend millions of dollars so people don’t go jail for beating their pet dogs, and the closest answers I have gotten from interviews is that Forrest Lucas seems obsessed with the idea, “That a man has a god given right to do with, what he pleases to his property.”

Secretary of Energy:

Harold Hamm (Billionaire Oil Tycoon)

• He ordered The Dean of The University of Oklahoma to fire researchers who published papers or did research into the environmental effects of Fracking and Drilling.

• He is against wind turbines because unlike oil wells they don’t look Americans.

• He uses slippery slope facilities to argue if the U.S passed environmental regulations it will lead to genocide because the end result of environmental laws would be the U.S massacring people and performing forced abortions to stop overpopulation.

Secretary of Homeland Security:

Michael McCaul (Texas Congressman and the 2nd Richest U.S Politician before Trump with $300 million dollars)

• He attempted to remove the right of deceased soldiers families to choose which prayers, if any, were to be read at a soldier’s funeral. Meaning that if an Atheist or Hindu or Muslim soldier dies by law the family would have to recite and read Christian Prayers during the funeral.
  

• He wants Putin to lead the monitoring of the situation in Syria rather than an international commission or the U.N
  

• He violated Ethics Laws when he was responsible for the Keystone Pipeline deal avoiding the entire time to bring up the fact that his family owns the company that would build and own the pipeline.
  

Secretary of the Treasury:

Steven Mnuchin (Worked for Goldman Sachs and produced American Sniper)

• He has been accused of racism by enacting company policies to refuse to give loans to minorities and giving Latinos higher mortgage rates than whites.

• If you were a Latino who didn’t pay your morgue to Steven Mnuchin’s bank you are 20% more likely to be evicted than if you are white and in the same situation.

• The bank he headed broke the law numerous times with unethical and illegal foreclosure practices. Trying to evict an elderly couple who had already paid them $525,000 in mortgages for a house that was only worth $200,000.

• He has been sued dozens of times and settled or was found guilty in multi-million dollar lawsuits on several separate occasions.

• He has been forced to testify and received subpoenas from the Department of Housing and Urban Development multiple times.
  

Secretary of Commerce:

Peter Thiel (Billionaire Trump donor)

• He wrote a book called “The Diversity Myth: ‘Multiculturalism’ and the Politics of Intolerance” some highlights of the book is when he argued that the point of awareness about rape and sexual assault victimization is to vilify men and that Ivy League Universities have been forced to dumb down curriculum ever since they allowed blacks to attend their schools so minorities will be able to graduate. The book was so offensive that even Republicans called it out as bigoted and filled with lies.

• He published an essay where he argued that women being allowed to vote hurts democracy.

• He wasted millions trying to build an artificially made island that could be turned into a Libertarian paradise after he was inspired by reading Atlas Shrugged.

• He believes that performing blood transfusions with the blood of young people will stop the aging process. 
  

Director of the Office of Management and Budget:

Tom Coburn (Former Oklahoma Senator)

• Back when he was a doctor he sterilized a 20 year old woman against her will.

• Back when he was a doctor he committed medicare fraud according to the State Attorney General. (Ironically he wants to end Medicare because he says it’s used primarily for fraud.)

• He demanded the Holocaust film Schindler’s List be banned from airing on television.

• He used legal loopholes to attempt to prevent several bills from coming to the Senate floor. Some of the bills includes one that would assure Veterans get health benefits. The law that criminalized online child pornography and one law that would cut funding to the Ugandan terrorist group, The Lord’s Resistance Army. Who are famous for massacring entire villages but letting the young children live so they can be used as child sex slaves. The LRA currently is killing more people each year than ISIS is.

• He has close connections to a Christian Advocacy group known as, “The Family” which has been described as a cult, and who’s influence is responsible for the passage of laws in Uganda which in 2008 made Homosexuality a death penalty crime.

• He tried to bribe the Mistress of another Congressman when he found out she was going to the press about their affair and other ethics violations.
  

Director of the Environmental Protection Agency:

Myron Ebell (Lobbyist for Climate Change Deniers)

• He pretends to be a scientist despite any actual education or training as one.

• He receives millions of dollars from the oil industry.

• He thinks Pesticides are harmless.

• He fought to take away all protection for endangered species in the name of “property rights.”

• He believes smoking isn’t anymore dangerous then breathing in car exhaust fumes when you walk around a major city. (He wrote these articles while getting funded from Cigarette company Philip Morris.)

• He bragged about being labeled as one of the most dangerous people in the world by environmental and animal welfare groups such as Greenpeace and Rolling Stone in his autobiography.

• He claimed it was “unconstitutional.” for Obama to make a speech talking about how the world should focus on environmental issues.
  

CIA Director:

Mike Pompeo (Congressman who was elected thanks to The Tea Party)

• He falsely claimed after the Boston Bombing that not a single Muslim has spoken out against terrorism and that Muslim leaders were “complicit” in the attack.

• In 2010 he tweeted asking his followers to read a blog post a supporter of his wrote which ranted against Raj Goyle (The Democrat opponent who was running against him for his Congress seat) with racial epithet and calling President Barack Obama an “evil muslim communist USURPER.”

• He wants more government surveillance to “stop terrorism.”

• He is obsessed with having Hillary arrested.

• He thinks Edward Snowden should get the death penalty. 
  

dongstomper:

randamhajile:

Nerd in the 1970s: “want to watch Star Trek re-runs in my basement and then read some Asimov?”

Nerd today: “which way to the Undertale orgy”

nerd in the 1200s: “is anybody else here literate”